Nanjingxi

Dive

Down through the belly of this city,

Through the plate glass and iron

Of its flickering heart.

Neon dreams

Hang suspended in the darkness,

But your eyes skip the beat

As you catch your own reflection

And it throws you off-balance

Up stairs that feel like falling,

Swept on by the rush

Of just one more last time

That is never the last;

This place it breaks you open,

Bruised ribs on a park bench

With a heart full of rain.

And whose fault is it really

That you whittled down your soul for him,

That you walked on broken glass for him

While he looked the other way?

That you loved beyond the last gasp

And now you spend your days drowning,

Still waiting for something

To make you catch your breath

In every full moon,

In every hotel room,

In every car window

Where you’ll never find that face;

The hollow in your soul

It fills up with water,

And your eyes take on

A deeper blue.

The city doesn’t care

About the angles of your sorrows;

That you broke your heart open again

On the corner of Nanjingxi;

The tears you brush away will fall

Out of the sky tomorrow;

The clouds a perfect mockery

Of a pain that runs in circles.

The oceans that you cried for him

Are the oceans that divide you;

Each kiss a stolen breath

From one who feared to leave the shore;

Each tender murmur held the echoes

Of places where he dared not follow;

Each liquid moment a reminder

Of a life spent underwater.

You loved too deep, and learned too late

That for him, to love you was to drown;

And silently he left you stranded

On this corner where your love went down.

So dive back down

Through the dark that whispers

Of broken dreams

Bleached to bone on the sand

And find your way

Back to the water;

You were not made

To live on land.