By way of apology...

It's complicated.

Sometimes I just need to walk out on something:
A fort-da game to test your patience,
Run away to see who follows,
Push my luck until it breaks.

I'm Jekyll and Hyde of a Saturday night:
The slightest thing could tip me over
And when the clouds gather, well
Girls are like the weather, remember?
You just have to let the storm break and pass.

I couldn't work out your hidden agenda.
Couldn't see what you saw through the lens of the camera.
Imagine my ad in a lonely-hearts column:
Lonesome aesthetic seeks companion in misery
To share hangovers, hang-ups,
And random acts of affection.
Doesn't exactly scan well, does it?
Not likely to land me someone like you.

The trouble is you wanted a performance
And I'd been dancing on command all week.
With half a beer down and only an hour
Between me and the way I sell out every day
There was no way I was putting on another show.

There are things I wanted to tell you, but

I bunched my soul up
As tight as I could
No longer accessible
Even by razorblade
To weather the storm
And keep through the summer
While I kept my head down
And served my well-paid sentence.

You made it unravel
But left the threads hanging
To tangle around
Every fragment remembered
To wait by the phone
For just one more weekend
As the time slips away
And I lose the strength to dream

“Dance,” he said. “It'stheonlyway. Wishwecouldexplainthingsbetter. Butwetoldyouallwecould. Dance. Don'tthink. Dance. Danceyourbest, likeyourlifedependedonit. Yougottadance”. - Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance